Talk:Eladax Sevean
Please read this article, think how it resembles Danius Vile, and make appropriate changes. --Remos talk 11:15, November 15, 2014 (UTC) I took your advice Remos, and read the article. I'll adress every point. The Name: I don't think Danius Vile is too bad a name. I was planning on changing the Vile part sometime in the near future, as soon as I think of somthing else. The Picture: Pretty sure the width of my picture is 250, so that ok. I found it on creative commons, so I can use it. The Vehicles: This I am concerned about. I think I've made him a little overpowered in the void, with 4 strike cruiser a regular cruiser some escorts and a battle barge. Should I tone it down? Weapons: Carapace armor is common among elite soldiers, inferno pistols on the other hand, are extremely rare. Should I give him something more average? 5: Home world of Nocturne, plenty of people live there, not an issue. 6: Faction: Imperium, not much else to say there. Colors: I have not decided yet frankly, I'm still new at this, and any and all feedback is much appeciated. Also thank you for the picture, But I'm switching pictures entirely. That one was only ever temporary. Warrantan (talk) 17:33, November 15, 2014 (UTC)Warrantan I could have sworn that the Salamanders Skin and Eyes were that Color due to a Gene Seed Mutation, not something naturally occuring in the Locals. Blackdamp (talk) 23:43, November 17, 2014 (UTC) They used to I think but as of 2014 its because of Nocturnes atmosphere. --Cheers The Road to Hell ''' is paved with good intentions''' 00:04, November 18, 2014 (UTC) I was under the impression that Nocturne has some sort of radioactive effect that mutated all the locals. Entirely possible that I'm wrong, however. I'll look into it. Warrantan (talk) 02:12, November 18, 2014 (UTC)Warrantan Ok there are a few things addressing. First of all being on Nocturne isn't that bad, but there is no way this guy should have the kind of relationship with the Salamanders that he does. I am aware that the Salamanders are less distant towards the common man than normal Marines, but there's still only a thousand of them. Are you telling me that the Salamanders seriously took notice of some street punk? They aren't the local police. Plus the bit about him being personal buddies with Tu'shan is a little too much when it comes to name dropping. Then there is him being inducted into the Guard. Now I understand that the Inquisition has the right to suppress knowledge of Chaos amongst the populace, but Space Marines are very protective of their homeworlds, and they wouldn't tolerate the Inquisition just kidnapping poeple off of their planet. Plus Adeptus Astartes Homewolrds are exempt from Imperial Guard recruitment. Then there is the issue with his promotion. First off it states in your article that he is below average when it come to ground warfare. So how exactly did he manage to warrant a promotion so quickly while serving within the Guard? In addition it said he was given command of a Dauntless class Light Cruiser, but here's the thing, Imperial Guard commanders are never given command over star ships. It's one of the fundamental divides between the Imperial Guard and Navy. Then after that he just magically gets assigned to an Explorator Fleet. Now don't get me wrong, sometimes these fleets have Navy excorts, but for the most part the Imperium can't spare warships and the Adeptus Mechanicus don't like people butting into their business. This guy's career isn't just fantastic, it's impossible. Then there's the issue of the Chorus of Eltain. Now first of all the biggest problem is that you are essentially inventing a new history for a Canon chapter, which isn't allowed here since it messes with the setting. Then there is the fact that it stated that the Gene-Seed of all the Astartes was still viable, which after such a period of time spent in the Warp there would be no chance of. Plus how did he managed to escape his plight with one half-crazed Navigator? Wasn't he marrooned? He shouldn't have been able to claim the damaged ships. Then there is the bit about Tu'shan giving him ships and Marines. There is no way any Chapter would lone their Brothers out to a Rogue Trader on some kind of permanent basis, no matter how good their relationship was, and that's doubly true of the warships. Even the most basic star ships can take decades, or even centuries to make, and enormous amount of resources. Plus the advantages of having a fully equiped warship in this setting can not be overstated. Tu'shan simply giving those ships away is damn near lunacy. As a parting note please make better use of paragraphs. The history section is hard to read. I am your master! At your service. (talk) 08:15, November 18, 2014 (UTC)